Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Dengue Experience
The last time I was sick with a 24 hour flu, I watched a complete season of 24. Nothing can take your mind off the sniffles, like Jack Bauer kicking some terrorist butt. So when I started getting that achy feeling everywhere in my body, I wondered which TV season I would catch up on this time? Little did I know that what I had in store could allow me to watch all 8 seasons of 24…twice!
As Canada and the USA spread fear over H1N1, conveniently right before high season in Mexico, Dengue Fever is a real issue here. H1N1 conspiracy theories aside, what causes Dengue and what can you look forward to if you get Dengue?
Dengue is spread through infected mosquitoes. You might have hated mosquitoes pre-Dengue, but you will go Jack Bauer on them post-Dengue! You can’t spread Dengue, but you should avoid mosquitoes once infected since they will spread the love to your friends and family. Trust me, there is no better way to lose a friendship than the gift of Dengue. At one point during my Dengue vacation in the bedroom, I spotted a mosquito. My weak body was suddenly pumped with adrenalin, as I turned into Jack Bauer. What would Jack do to protect his family? I armed myself with a weapon of mass destruction, a rolled up magazine and went into combat mode. Scanning the room, I spotted the mark hovering just under the bed. The hunter approached his prey silently and with a killer purpose. I could not be sure this was the type of mosquito that carries this wonderful experience I was having, but it was guilty by association. Yes, I was insect profiling, but that’s just the Bauer way, whack away and asks questions later.
Unlike Jack, my only combat training was boxing on the WII, so I was spotted immediately and my mark went stealth. For a good half hour, adrenaline all spent, I scanned the room, looking for the slightest movement. Nothing. Was I dreaming? Did the fever bring me a vision? I might have been weak, but my instinct to protect my family was strong. I could outlast it. I had all the time in the world.
I finally spotted my mark, behind me no less. The adrenalin returned. Angry with myself that I had let myself be outsmarted by the prey, I turned that energy into a quick burst of magazine payback. Missed. Going to have to make an appointment at the bug whacking range and improve my skills. The second attempt hit the mark. It might not have been as dramatic as Jack saving the world from yet another catastrophe, but in my mind, I had saved the world.
The rest of my sickness was uneventful. I did catch up on a few seasons of TV viewing and spent quite some time resting. There is not much you can do with Dengue. You can’t take anything for it, except Tempra for the pain and fever. Your joints and back will ache, so getting comfortable will be difficult. You have a wonderful rash to look forward to, but it only lasts about 2 days. Drink plenty of water. For a very low percentage of people, Dengue could be dangerous, but getting medical attention reduces serious risk to extremely low single digit percentages.
In retrospect, Dengue is like a very long flu, but leaves you with a deep-seated hatred for mosquitoes. My advice? Hone your whacking skills now, and forget about the red tape…all mosquitoes are evil.
**This article appeared in The PV Mirror Vol.2 Issue 64
Labels: dengue fever, jack bauer, Mexico
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Only in Mexico
The first sight most people notice is that while driving along, you get passed by a pick-up with anywhere from one to fifteen people in the back. Some get comfortable and have plastic chairs to sit on; others simply stand and hold on for dear life. "Just put gramma in the back!" You would think that when they hit "topes", they would lose a few...but no...they seem to make it to their destination. You can have people in the back of your pickup, but as a driver, you need to have your seat belt on or you get a ticket. Smack - "Only in Mexico!"
I was driving along the 200 highway, and what do I see on the median but a mule munching on some grass. To be honest, the grass did look pretty good, but might that not be a little dangerous? Where is the owner of this mule? Another time, I was close to our complex at the end of Bucerias and I spot three massive bulls with menacing horns leaving the Oxxo. I can't be sure they went into the Oxxo, but they came from that direction. There is something quite uncomfortable about being at a traffic light and get passed by 3 massive bulls. It was quite evident that they were not afraid of the "Transitos" as I am quite sure you can't turn left on a red light. "Only in Mexico!"
Only in Mexico will you find a car that simply refuses to die. Some cars and trucks probably have more duct tape then metal! Considering the price of parts and labor, it’s no surprise that some vehicles live on to an unhealthy age. Unhealthy for those of us behind them, swerving to avoid bits and pieces of metal and other vehicular leprosy.
Ever been passed by a truck, probably coming from Guadalajara which is a moving skyscraper? They fill it to the tipping point, and drive down with goods, a constant danger to low flying airplanes. They should be required to put a flashing red light on top of their haul. “Only in Mexico!”
Only in Mexico will you see an amputee in a wheelchair in the middle of traffic selling candy. Talk about a dangerous profession! You would think another visit to the hospital would be a deterrent.
We have potholes in Canada and the USA, but in Mexico, especially after the rainy season, we have pot “black holes”. We’ve lost many good tourists to these, never to see them again. With the combination of the potholes, our lovable topes and the clever reverse topes, driving is a mixture of survival and off-roading. Why are all drivers in a hurry anyways? It’s like Need for Speed meets demolition derby out there!
What makes you smack your head in disbelief and utter: “Only in Mexico!” E-mail me at randal@mexplanations.com and the best submissions will be printed in a future article.
Randal Wark lives in Bucerias, Mexico and is always seeking to mexplain your questions.
Labels: Mexico, mexplanations
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Mexplanations moves to the PV Mirror
Labels: puerto vallarta, PV mirror
Monday, June 9, 2008
Mexico 5-O
In Mexico, we have a variety of police officers, each with different responsibilities.
Transito: These are probably the ones you will encounter at some point if you stay here for any length of time. They wear the brown uniforms and are basically underpaid traffic cops. I have read that they make somewhere around $6,500 pesos per month. They have been compared to a waiter/waitress who are paid low, but are compensated with tips. Great, a waiter with a gun! You can tell when they are between paychecks, as the moving violations increase dramatically. Do you pay the “tip” or not? There is no right answer.
Federales: Normally seen in the back of pickup trucks wearing navy blue uniforms, carrying big automatic weapons. These deal with corruption and organized crime. The Federal Preventive Police (PFP) take care of the serious crimes and patrol airports. There is also the Federal Investigations Agency (AFI) which is similar to the FBI. The AFI are the ones that do raids on the drug cartels. Think Jack Bauer meets S.W.A.T and you get the point. These guys are under heavy attack from the drug cartels and many of them have been killed recently, including Edgar Eusebio Millan Gomez, who was the Federal Police Chief. This is why you are seeing an increase in road blocks and vehicle searches.
Preventiva: This is more the police we know who patrol and uphold public safety and maintain order. They either wear a green and brown uniform or gray uniform depending on their duties.
Lord Acton, the British historian said: “All power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.” While none can deny that corruption in Mexico is rampant, we cannot use this as an excuse to disregard the law. For example, drinking and driving in Mexico is basically go to jail, don’t collect $200 and forget about rolling doubles! Yes…with the right officer, and the right amount of “tip” you might stagger on your way, but you are taking a considerable risk on your personal safety and more importantly of those around you.
The bravery of many in the police force to keep our neighborhoods safe should not be tarnished by the bad deeds of others. Regardless of these problems, I still do feel that Riviera Nayarit is a safe place for tourists and those choosing to live here. I also urge the local police to continue to make our cities safe for tourists, as we bring in much revenue for the local economy.
Keep up the good work. “Book’em, Pedro!”
Labels: Federales, Police Mexico, Preventiva, Transito
Monday, May 19, 2008
If you like Mexplanations, you might like...
If you have kids, you might enjoy the Podcast I do with my kids at www.cuddlepodcast.com.
Both sites have online players, so you can listen for free.
If you want tips for moving to mexico, check out my site: www.movingtomexico.ca
My other blog is www.memorandal.com which is about nothing, and everything.
My corporate website is www.compuquest.ca where I help Canadian companies with their technology needs. I have also been known to help out a few gringo's in Mexico with their problems! If you have a computer problem, send me an email at randal@compuquest.ca.
Enjoy
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The Rooster - the hardest working animal in Mexico!
I was confused. It’s the middle of the night, why are the roosters crowing? Did I sleep in? Have I gone blind, and I can no longer see the sun? No. I was under the cartoonish belief that a rooster only crows at daybreak, kind of like nature’s alarm clock. That belief got shattered after a few days of noticing that roosters crow all day, all night and sometimes in between. I also noticed roosters and chickens running around free in the back streets of Mexico. Imagine that, no chicken fences in sight! Gangs of chickens would stand defiantly in front of my moving vehicle, and at the very last minute, would move out of the way. Was this some form of the game of “chicken”? Was this how they initiated young members into the flock?
I know that in Canada & the USA, the chicken is the only animal that will never die of natural causes. You never see an old chicken, and chicken retirement homes have been replaced by state of the art factories that give the typical chicken a miserable 5 weeks of life, before it makes it to your plate. Being an only child makes it hard for me to think of sharing my room (a square meter) with about 17 family members, in a house with about 40,000 others soon to be nuggets. About 5% die suffer from heart failure or other issues related to the lifestyle imposed on them. (interesting stats here) So my first thought was that roosters and chickens have escaped the rat race of the 9 to 5 job back home and decided to run away to Mexico and taste the good life. I could picture them in my mind’s eye tying their feathers together to make a rope, planning their escape Hogan’s Heroes style. Then would begin their long journey to Mexico, avoiding at all costs the Colonel & old McDonald or they would be McCaught and McFried.
In the end, it just turns out that chickens have been running free here for a very long time, and that the roosters are there to protect them. In his book “When Do Fish Sleep”, David Feldman says that ornithologists believe crowing marks out territory – kind of like male dogs peeing, only noisier and easier to clean up after. Kind of like saying: “This is my coop, get the heck out of my way, don’t mess with my woman.” (interesting article here) As it happens, mornings are the most active time for them, so they get the “Me casa es NO su casa!” out of the way, round up the flock, count the eggs and chat about the weather. Morning is also when we are more easily awoken, so we notice it more when the rooster is crowing as we are desperately trying to get some beauty sleep.
Sometimes, the crowing is the alarm for an intruder. We saw a pretty strange sight the other day, a rooster got into a fight with an Iguana, who was going for the eggs I presume. There was crowing, and lots of trash talk, and the Iguana had to find another breakfast that day.
I figure, to avoid the dreaded “chop chop”, roosters have become the hardest working animal in Mexico, crowing incessantly all through the day and night to make itself appear busy and useful.
What can we do about the issue? Short of a chicken taco, castration would work, but sort of a drastic solution. Imagine if the same solution would cure snoring in men? Enough said, let’s leave them crow and just add it to the natural sights and sounds of Mexico.
Labels: chicken, hogan's heroes, Mexico, rooster
Monday, May 12, 2008
1 Tequila, 2 Tequilas, 3 Tequilas…floor.
This week, I visited the town of Tequila, which is 65 km northwest of Guadalajara. It is such a quaint town, with the mandatory town square and church. Upon arriving, you will be greeted by many salespeople trying to get you to visit their Tequila factory. We ended up taking the bus that looks like a Tequila barrel. OK…embarrassing, but hey, that’s half the fun. The tour costs $100 pesos, and children are free (as long as they don’t drink any Tequila!). We got to see how the Agave plant is harvested, which is still much of a manual process. We tasted the processed Agave plant, and it tasted like sweet potato. At the end of the tour, you get to taste test the different kinds of Tequila, and are encouraged to buy a bottle as a souvenir.
Legend has it that the Aztecs used the plant’s leaf, but left the “pina” as waste. One day, lightning hit an Agave plant, and the Aztecs found the root, the “pina” burning briefly. Thinking this was a gift of the Gods, they tasted it, and so began the production of Tequila.
The Agave plant may take up to 10 years to mature and be harvested. It takes about seven kilograms of “pina” to produce one liter of 100% Agave Tequila.
Tequila has different categories. Blanco is what is considered the first batch, straight from the distiller to your glass. That is the Tequila that gives you that famous line: “I will never do this again.” Some Tequila can also be gold color, and this is done through coloring.
The next level up of Tequila is Añejo or “extra aged”. It is usually kept for a minimum of a year up to 10 years. This is the considered the high end of the Tequila spectrum. Recently, Extra Añejo has surfaced, which is aged at least three years in oak.
Of course, with Tequila, there are the following warnings:
The consumption of Tequila may make you think you can sing.
The consumption of Tequila may lead you to believe that people are laughing WITH you.
The consumption of Tequila may lead you to think you are whispering, when you are not.
Why not tour the town of Tequila and taste for yourself what good Tequila is like. You can also take the Tequila Express train from Guadalajara on Saturdays, a costs of about $71 USD and the train leaves at 10h00 AM…(hey…it’s 12 o’clock somewhere!). You get to visit Herradura distillery, get a guided tour, live mariachis and of course, taste Tequila!
Labels: Agave, Anejo, Guadalajara, Reposado, Tequila
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